The Misadventures of Hawkeye

2005-10-19T15:20:00.000-07:00

October 19, 2005 - 3:20PM

Toys, toys, toys....

Toys, I love them. Even the most useless gadget is exciting to me if it's electronic, expensive and has lost of bells and whistles. Last weekend I volunteered to fly to Las Vegas with a friend to help him unload a 28 foot trailer full of his stuff (he's moving down there). It was a whirlwind trip, we left at 6:30 PM on Saturday and returned ass-early on Monday morning. The whole time I was flying I thought to myself how nice it would be to have an MP3 player. I was also kicking myself for not having a decent digital camera to document the trip...
Flash forward a bit and I find out that I am one of the lucky fellas in my office that won a performance award for the year and that my bonus is going to show up on my next paycheck! WOO-HOO!
Now, I'm not (normally) one to count my chickens before they hatch, but dammit, my vacation starts on Friday and I need TOYS!!! So I take off work a little early and run to the super deluxe, ultra intimidating, big boy toy store (Fry's Electronics) and start looking.
My INTENTION is to buy an MP3 player, so I decide to get a midrange unit (5GB should do nicely). So new toy in hand, I head toward the cameras to "just look".
For me, Fry's is like Costco, you can't leave the place without emptying your pockets, maxing your credit cards and signing a second mortgage on your house. The stuff is SO COOL and so stinkin' cheap that you just can't help it.
The cameras turned out to be problematic for me. My friend has a really nice Olympus that I've coveted from the moment I saw it and sure enough, here's the same model on sale (and the LAST day of the sale, to boot). Well, I just HAD to have it, so I took the 5GB MP3 player back, swapped for a cheaper 512MB unit (I don't need 5GB of music, do I?) and went back to the cameras to find the closest sales associate as quickly as possible.
So now I have a Camera, MP3 Player and a 512MB memory card for my camera. The sales associate was kind enough to walk me up to the register (probably to keep me from changing my mind about the large purchase).
The total came to $321.00...OUCH! But hey, I have new toys and they're actually things I'll use on my vacation.
My regret now? That I didn't buy the 5GB MP3 player.... May need to make another run to Fry's before I leave on Friday...

Like my mom says: "The only difference between men and boys is the price of thier toys."
Man, is that ever the truth!

2005-10-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

October 13th, 2005 - 9:50PM

Things that really piss me off....

- Stupid Washington (and any other state, for that matter) drivers who are more attentive to thier makeup and cell phones than they are to thier driving.

- The guy on the first floor that continually leaves his floaters in the toilet for me. Come on man, make sure the fish is down before you leave the stall!

- Gang banger wannabes that think they're "hard". You can't be "hard" if you roll on the bus, yo. Not to mention the fact that you look freakin' rediculous with your baggy-assed pants, oversized t-shirts and undersized puffy jackets. Get a sense of style, and dress like normal human beings you dumbassed circus freaks!

- Teenagers (and pre-teens) that think they know it all and that the world owes them a favor. Since you're so fucking smart, why don't you move out from under your parents, get a job and pay your own way through life, you little ingrateful smart-assed shits?

- ANYONE that spends more money on a sound system than they do to make thier car run the way it's supposed to. Your precious bass amp and $1500.00 head unit isn't going to do you any good if your ride is dead on the side of the road, you idiots!

- People in shitty cars with big bass (see comment above) that sit behind me, in front of me or alongside me at a traffic light, forcing me to listen to thier fucking music. Go deaf if you want to, but do it away from me. I really don't want to be subjected to your sonic massage, so TURN THE SHIT DOWN! (This also goes for people with big bass in nice cars. just keep the crap to yourself, you insecure attention whores.)

- People in my company who get paid more than me, for working half as hard and that don't know shit. These are the highly paid idiots that come to ME to get thier work done. What's the matter, did the University not teach you how to be self reliant or have an iota of common sense, you lazy, overpaid rat bastards? Take your inflated commission check and buy a fucking clue (and buy me a good chair and monitor while you're at it)!

- Ebonics....Goes hand in hand with the gang banger comment above. This point is especially true for for caucasians. SPEAK ENGLISH OR GO JUMP OFF A (really high) CLIFF.

- Immigrants to the US. The people don't necessarily piss me off as much as the way the US Government favors them over the citizens already living here. When these people come to the US, they are HANDED money for a house, car and living expenses. Not to mention that they are given "loans" to start businesses and these "loans" are forgiven after a few years. This means that they DO NOT HAVE TO PAY THE LOAN BACK!!! These people are living in the nicest houses, driving BMW's and Mercedes and getting it all for FREE!
I've lived here all my life and I struggle, but be damned if I'm EVER going to see a dime from the taxes that I pay....
The other point of this one is the way that all the rules are bent for these people. Did you know that if someone wants a drivers license, but they don't speak english, the DOL will provide a translator so they can take the test?? Maybe it's just me, but if the road signs are in english, shouldn't at least be able to read them??

I'm sure there will be more added to this as time goes on. These are the big ones that stick out in my head at the moment. Stay tuned for more rants!

2005-10-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

October 12th, 2005 - 11:00AM

The worst movie I've EVER seen......

So, my wife and I decided to go catch a matinee last Saturday. Being the decent fella that I am, I let her pick what we were going to see. Basing her decision solely on the previews and the presence of Viggo Mortensen, she decided we were going to see "A History of Violence"........

All I can say is WHAT A PIECE OF CRAP!

GOD, this movie sucked ass! Not only do I feel like I lost several IQ points, but I feel competely ripped out of the $13.50 I spent to get in the freakin' door. Thank God we didn't get popcorn or a soda, I would have been raging mad if we did. Although, popcorn would have been the high point of the experience......

Okay, okay, I'll say this much for the film (if you can really call it that), the acting was pretty impressive. Viggo played his character very convincingly as the modest, softspoken cafe owner in a small town. Maria Bello played her role of the "still in love after 18 years of marriage" wife so well that it made me long for a woman like her. And Ashton Holmes was brilliant as the harrassed and Quixotic teenage son, fighting his own battles as well as helping his father with his demons.
....But that's where the good part stops.

Ed Harris is not well suited to play a Philly Gangster Boss. I guess after seening him shed tears on Appolo 13 and profess his undying love to Mary Elizabeth Masterantonio at a million miles underwater in The Abyss, I just can't see him in a hardassed toughguy role. It's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole: It just doesn't work. Needless to say, Ed's role was not suited to him and he simply didn't make it happen.
William Hurt as a Gang Lynchpin? Are you kidding? The English Patient and Tuck Everlasting? How in the HELL did the casting agent have the balls to suggest him? Must have dropped a bunch of names in a hat and had his blind and retarded inbred lovechild reach in and pick. I digress....It just didn't work....

To make a really long bitch session short, the best part of the movie was when Ashton Holmes finally cracks and beats the holy living shit out of his high school nemesis, right in the school hallway. It was predictable, but very enjoyable to see the little jock shit get his come-uppance.

My last word on this: What the hell is up with the shitty ending? Did all the good stuff end up on the cutting-room floor? Hey David Cronenberg (director), go back to film school, seems like you missed a few classes.

Don't waste your money and if you get a DVD as a gift, save the world some agony and just burn it....

2005-09-30T19:46:00.000-07:00

September 30th, 2005 - 7:55PM

Looks like we've finally made it through the Federal busy season. Things around here have settled to a dull roar and we can all think about resuming a "normal" life.
For the next week, I'll be taking care of damage control and catching up on the not-so-urgent orders that I haven't booked in the past six weeks. I'm ready, at this point, to go home and sleep for 2 days straight. The next time I have to look at a computer will be too soon....

I'll have more later on. I just want to focus on getting out of here and into my bed....

2005-09-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

September 20th, 2005 - 4:24PM

Today I feel like total crap. I've not been feeling really well for the past week or so, but today seems to culminate all of my symptoms....
In November 2003 I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease and had 10 inches of my small intesines removed, along with my Ileum and Appendix. After my sizeable scars healed up, I felt fantastic. I had lost some weight and my digestive system functioned at least semi-normally.
Fast forward to today and I feel like my guts just got run over by a tank. I've been constipated for 3 days and now I'm starting to feel the nausea kick in. I haven't eaten in well over 24 hours and my body is screaming for some nutrients. I really hope that something breaks free soon. Hopefully the gallon of prune juice I just drank (nasty) will help....
I'm going to have a hot bath and go to bed. More tomorrow...

2005-09-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

September 19th, 2005 - 2:45PM

For being in the height of the Federal busy season, things sure are slow. I've had a lot of extra time on my hands today and I'm hopeful that I can go home at a reasonable hour.
The last 3 weeks have provided the motherload of overtime for me and I'm feeling it for sure. a normal day would be a welcome break from the recent history of 13 - 16 hour days. Thank God the busy season only lasts through September....

I purchased my airfare today. Takin' a little trip to the old stompin' grounds in Idaho. It'll be really good to see B and his family, as well as Kristi and whoever else I can locate. 9 days away from the rat race will be a welcome change as well. I really hate Washington and all the inconsiderates that I run into day in and day out.

I woke up this morning sore as hell from working on the Jeep. I took on a project that I probably shouldn't have. Fortunately, everything is working as it should.
I'd been noticing a fairly strong odor of gas in the cabin, so I decided to replace the pump seal in the tank. While I was at it, I changed the strainer sock on the fuel pump. It was good thing, since the sock was black and clogged with soot. Funny how the pump is much quieter now that the fuel can flow through it more freely.
So I spent about 3 hours on my back under the Jeep yesterday and I'm feelin' it. My neck is stiff, my shoulders sore and it feels like I did about five million situps. Ibuprofen is my friend....
If there's still some light by the time I get home tonight, I'll probably change the fuel filter and the undercarrage soft fuel lines. It should only be about a 30 minute job, as long as I don't hit any snags.
Since I'm flying for my vacation, I'm thinking about leaving the Jeep with a local shop to have the rear leaf springs and all the shocks replaced. The shocks would be an easy enough job, but it's easier with air tools (which I don't have). The leafs are a bitch, from what I've heard, so I really don't want to have to deal with it. Yeah, it'll cost me some cash, but it'll be worth it in the long run, especially if I don't have to deal with the pain afterward.

I'm feeling kinda shitty about not doing a lot with ham radio lately. I'll give the excuse that I've worked late for the last few weeks or that my radio is acting up and needs repair, but it all sounds like whining. Hell, I'm normally in the room with the radio for a couple hours a night, so what's the REAL excuse??? All I have to do is hit the power button.... Maybe tonight I'll feel up to giving it a go.

Well, back to it. I actually hade something come in that needs done by tomorrow.
No better time than the present....

2005-09-19T12:34:00.000-07:00

At the behest of my best friend Brent, I'm creating this blog. I've never given much thought to starting one of these, but if nothing else I can vent my spleen for the world to see.
Here, I'll be keeping a general journal of happenings and (mis) adventures that occur from time to time. My life seems to move either snail slow or lightning fast, so bear with me.....

Let's start with a little detail about me, your humble host...

I'm a 36 year old male with a promising career working for the number 1 defense contractor in the US. I've been at my job for a little over a year and, so far, really like it here. My office is small, employing only about 25 at this location. Overall, the company for which I work employs well over 200,000 among all its divisions.

I live in Washington, the rain capital of the free world. to be blatantly honest, I hate it here and want to move back to the desert where the humidity doesn't cause mold and make you breathe funny. It's WAY too crowded here for me. The traffic is horrible and the cost of living is horrendous. Our fine Governor decided it best to tax the hell out of the gasoline, raising the price by 5 cents State wide, with an additional 10 cents to be added over the next 4 years. Apparently, it's not bad enough that the price is already out of control.

I'm married for the moment, but that's going to change in the next few months. I'm rather unhappy with my current arrangement and am looking to get out. My wife is a complete slob with no money management skills and her child is a screaming 12 year old, spoiled-rotten brat with no respect for authority and zero sense of responsability. After being conjoined with these two for more than 5 years, It's time to get the heck out.
I've discovered that I'm simply not wired to be married, monogomous (I've never cheated on my wife, just so you know) or a parent. The bonds of matrimony are simply far too restricting for my lifestyle.
Dont' get me wrong, female companionship is a great and wonderful thing, but when one must give up dreams and aspirations to accomodate ones partner, therein lies a problem. More about this at a later date....

I'm proud to be a licensed amateur radio operator (ham). This is my primary hobby and I love anything having to do with wireless communication. I'm a General class operator and am studying for my Extra class upgrade, which I hope to get by March of next year.

My other "hobby" (see obsession) is my 1988 Jeep Wagoneer Limited (Cherokee body style). She's my pride and joy and I love to work on her every chance I get. My original purchase price was right around $1500.00, but I've put much more into her.
My baby's original mileage was 132,800. Very low for an 18 year-old vehicle. Now, 6 months later, she's almost ready to turn 140,000 clicks.
She's a work in progress. My Diamond in the rough....

I'm also a music nut. I enjoy a wide range of styles from country to classic rock to acid jazz/fusion to hip hop and trip hop. I'm huge advocate of dark, angry music that carrys a deep message (see Nine Inch Nails, Puddle of Mud, Fuel, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Stabbing Westward, etc.). At least this is what I prefer at the moment. My tastes change like the phases of the moon, so I could be back into Sting, DMB and Duncan Sheik tomorrow.
My all-time favorite artist is, and always will be, Peter Gabriel. The man is a musical and lyrical genius and he puts on one helluva show.

As far as me, I'm the classic example of a Jaded Cynic. The only real optomism that I carry has to do with my close friends. They keep hope alive for me and allow me to have something to look forward to on a daily basis. Life has pretty much fucked me up and I don't see the proverbial "light at the end of the tunnel" any more. Between marriage, layoffs from previous jobs, the Government and the cesspool that is the world outside, I'm not the most trusting person in the world.
I consider myself a decent human being. I don't intentionally break the law, I pay my (exhorbinant) taxes, I don't kill people (although there are a few I'd like to) and I'm (normally) nice to others. If you cross me, I WILL tell you how I feel, then kindly ask you to fuck off. Overall, I think that most folks would tell you that I'm a good guy, a little on the strange side and normally really quiet.

Physically, I'm big.... Not like linebacker big, just big. I'm 6', 250 pounds (mostly in the middle) and I look like an out-of-shape Stone Cold Steve Austin: Bald as a cueball (by choice, thank you), and built like a brick shithouse. My eyes are blue/gray and I sport a Vandyke (see goatee) and a hoop in my left earlobe.

So....This is my sounding board. I hope to offer a little life experience for you FNG's out there that think you have this whole Planet Earth thing figured out, while evacuating my emotional bowels on the front porch. Hell, maybe I can become a better person by doing this...Okay, let's not hold our breath here, but you never know. Perhaps I'll be able to finally get some of my skeletons cleaned out of my expansive closet and start seeing the world in a different light.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!